I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
