I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
