I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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