Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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