Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
