Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
