Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
