Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
