If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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