Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
