ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
