I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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