wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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