why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
