i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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