Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
