a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
