she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
