i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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