ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
