i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
