I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My penis needs a shock collar
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
