Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
