he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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