clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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