I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
