it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
