I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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