Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
