I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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