a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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