No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
