go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
