whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We need a shit load of segways right now
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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