sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
