I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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