Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
