How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
