I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
