I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
