I can tuck mytits in my pants
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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