That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
