Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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