This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I would fuck him just for his dog
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
