that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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