Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
