from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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