Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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