I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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