Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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