I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
